One of my all-time favourite put-downs is: you must be confusing me with someone who gives a shit! Let’s be honest, there’s no come-back to that sentence. Whoever irritated you enough to evoke that response has no choice but to slink away, tail between their legs and never annoy you again.

Obviously, the word shit (and all its synonyms) is a staple ingredient of insults. But last week, ‘crap’ was used for a good cause. I’ll explain. I try to do my best for the planet. I’m constantly watching my eco footprint. I’m no saint, but I haven’t eaten meat for more than forty years, I sort my waste as if my life depended on it and I don’t fly off somewhere for a city trip (I admit I used to, but it’s all about improvement). However I have to say, in all honesty, that I always felt that there was a lack of humour in many of the ecologically friendly organisations and campaigns. Pale-faced, serious, slow-moving vegetarians in the organic food shop who made me want to force-feed them steak and whisky. Things are better now though.

Last week, I found this company making toilet paper (and kitchen paper and tissues) in the most ecologically friendly way possible and making jokes about it! Okay, it’s not cheap but it’s definitely cheerful. And I forgive them the missing question mark.