This blog comes to you from Ibiza, where I’m visiting my daughter. It’s been lovely seeing her after so long and will be worth the ten days I have to self-isolate because of the orange code for all of Spain. However, as fatalistic as I’m being about those ten days right now, I know myself well enough to know that the air will be thick with swear words by Day 3.

Profanities, expletives, blue language, potty mouth… I do swear quite a lot. Swear words just often express what I want to say better than euphemisms of swear words. Or rather, not what I want to say, but how I want to say it. Plus, I’m Scottish. It’s a heritage thing. And not just when I’m angry. Using a swear word as a tmesis can heighten a comic effect.

Saying ‘frigging’, or ‘effing’ just isn’t as satisfying. Or sweet F.A. (Sweet Fanny Adams instead of sweet f—k all which just means ‘absolutely nothing at all’). I don’t drink no-alcohol gin or decaffeinated coffee either, for the same reason. They don’t have the same effect. However, alcohol, coffee and swear words should be used sparingly. Overly-large doses will negate the effect, which of course is sometimes the effect you’re going for! 😊

For more fun with f**k, follow the link.